Available on audible
Narrated by Jacob Reece
Can you recount the tales of selling your first home? The excitement beforehand, the anticipation, as you anxiously await for that momentous day to arrive…SOLD!
Well, as Mr. Grake can attest, the first time selling your home can be an experience, unlike anything imaginable.
Have you ever had something happen to you, so ridiculous, so mind boggling, so unbelievable that it makes you think to yourself…WTF!All Mr. Grake wants to do is sell the family home. What could be simpler?Along the way he encounters 2 lunatic assassins (realtors) that take advantage of his family and their kindness.One assassin flies the coup while another constructs a sinister plan to reveal Mr. Grake’s “true” identity.
As things go from bad to worse, to something else entirely…as Mr. Grake is accused of murdering one of his children and stuffing their lifeless corpse under the bed. But that’s not all, as they’d lead you to believe Mr. Grake is cooking meth in his garage a la Heisenberg from Breaking Bad.
So he fires them.
Deciding, “Hey, we should tell the news about this.”
An interview with the news turns into “the fallout” from hell; with the end of Amazon, to The Grake’s navigating a bomb on a severely turbulent flight. The madness rages on during a 6 month journey filled with misadventure as The Grake’s attempt to sell their home and move far, far away.
‘Meth Murder and Amazon by G. S. Gerry is an unusual book, written in an extremely unique style only GS could conceive. Its a stream of consciousness, but with absurd character and place names, strange little rhymes, and wonky but delightful descriptors. I have never read a book quite like it. Admittedly I am still confused about what was real and what was fantasy. Was GS a meth dealer, à la Walter White? Or was that another story of fancy? Was there even a murder? Or was that a misunderstanding? What secrets are these normal middle-class people hiding?
But I enjoyed it! How could I not like it? It was cleverly written and had emojis and pictures! I admit that I didn’t get all the puns or cultural references, but I got enough of them, and that was half fun of reading Meth Murder and Amazon — when I figured out one of the spoonerisms it was almost like Bam! I get it!!
The story revolves around a family, the Grakes, trying to sell their home, and the trials and tribulations that ensue. They just want to sell their home, that’s it. Sounds like the most normal thing in the world, right? Millions of people do this exact thing every year. It should be almost rote by now. Every homeowner has done it at least once — list house, take an offer, haggle, sold.
You’d think it would be just that easy. Not for the Grake family… yikes it is crazy what happens! They plow through three real estate agents in the Sky Scrapin’ State where they live, with the ensuing mayhem. This should be simple in a sellers’ market. But it’s not. No one — and I mean no one — is interested in buying their house. Why? I have no idea. Add to that gut punch, accusations of murder and meth manufacture — all of it trumped up. Or was it? The weather even conspires against the Grakes. These people cannot catch a break.’
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